I've decided I might want to blog again. Looking over my old blogs I see that I was bitchy when I was pregnant, wasn't I? And whiney!! I don't do pregnancy well at all; but the funny thing is that as soon as I'm not pregnant any longer, I miss it. All through my pregnancy with Annie I kept saying "This is it. I'm not doing this again, ever. We're done." And, I had agreed to my husband having a vasectomy in April. However, Annie was less than 24-hours old before I was rethinking my stance on that. As I held her, I realized I would do it again in a heartbeat. As difficult as my pregnancy was on me physically and emotionally (I was as close to suicidal as I've ever been and it was frightening) - she was well worth it. She was worth the fatigue and the incredible nausea. She was worth it all, even though at times I wanted to trade places with Susan Torres. While I never would've hurt myself, because that would've meant bringing harm to my unborn child - and I would not have done that -- the thought that something outside of my control might knock me out of the picture while possibly sparing Annie was an extremely appealing idea to me for a while. I finally sucked it up and told Stephanie. She offered to admit me but I wasn't sure I was *that* bad; so, she put me on Zoloft and told me if I didn't start feeling better in a few weeks we'd do therapy.
Elizabeth is the sweetest, tenderest big sister to Annie. She loves to hold her and help "babysit" her. I don't hesitate to leave her in the room alone with Annie for a few minutes. One day I needed to move laundry from the washer to the dryer. Annie was fussy so I put Elizabeth in the corner of the sofa and laid Annie in her lap while I moved the laundry. She talked to her baby sister and soothed Annie so sweetly.
Katherine loves Annie, but is still a baby herself so "gentle" and "soft" mean nothing to her. She will pull Annie's hair or headbutt her. Poor little Annie. Obviously, I don't turn my back for a second when Nin is in the room with Annie. However, she's also sweet and mothering because she is the one who most frequently tries to nurse Annie.
Annie is like Katherine in that we have to "preheat" her crib before we put her in it. She is a very laid-back baby. At this point, she only cries when she wakes up or when her tummy hurts. She spits up quite a bit but I don't think she has reflux. I think she's just very sensitive to things I eat.
Laundry has overtaken my life! I can't get thank you notes written for all the laundry.
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