Where to start

I’ve made one sympathy card this weekend – a dear friend’s mother died. Just a couple of hours after I made his card, I found out a sweet young couple at our church lost their unborn son at 37 weeks. My heart is broken. How do I make them a card? How do I convey how much I ache for them, how much I am praying for them, how I literally don’t have words and just cry for them? But I will, because I do not want to not acknowledge their loss.  I cannot imagine. No one can know that hurt unless they’ve been there – left the hospital with empty arms. I hurt for them. I pray for them constantly.

This morning in church, our Worship Pastor announced that he is leaving. Their family is moving to take care of his wife’s aging and ill parents. I am thrilled that God provided the perfect job for him at another church in the area. I am glad that he is modeling for his children how to honor your parents. But, oh… Their youngest child is one of Elizabeth’s best friends and when she realized they’re moving far away, the look on her face was more than I could bear. He has been with us through the lowest of the lows…the days when our marriage was literally hanging by a hair (thread is stronger that what our marriage was hanging by, it was that bad). He was there as we, as I, struggled with infertility and gave us precious counsel. He was on the phone with my husband moments before Brad’s dad died. He has been with us through the highest of the highs…he has been at the hospital when each of our babies have been born, he celebrated with us and was the officiant as we renewed our wedding vows. He has truly pastored us. He has been at the hospital every time I’ve had surgery – and knows what a horrible PACU patient I am. He was there with Brad the last time I had surgery and was as shocked as we were that I was loaded up and headed home 30 minutes after I woke up (it was a BIG deal). His wife has been a dear friend and sounding board. She has counseled me as a wife and as a mom. She’s often the first call I make “Do I need to go to the doctor with this child?” (she’s a RN).  To say him leaving is unexpected wouldn’t be true, because we have expected it…just not yet.

But still, as sad as their leaving is to me – it’s not the loss of a child. We can still have a relationship with them. We can go visit them and it will be fun. Everything has been tempered by this young couple’s loss. I am drained.